Failure is not always an easy topic, especially when it comes to children. Many of us grew up learning to avoid mistakes, to get things “right”, or to feel uncomfortable when something didn’t work as planned. Yet in the early years — and throughout life — failure is often where the most meaningful learning happens.
At Blue Windmill Day Nursery, we believe that being allowed to fail safely is an important part of growing in confidence, resilience and self-understanding. When children try something new and it doesn’t work, they receive valuable feedback. They learn what happens when they push, pull, stack, balance, speak up or pause. Each attempt helps them understand themselves, other people and the task in front of them a little better.
Learning from failure
You see this process every day with young children. A tower falls down. A puzzle piece won’t fit. A child struggles to put on a coat or to join a game in the way they hoped. These moments can feel frustrating, but they are also rich learning opportunities. With time, encouragement and calm adult support, children begin to try again, adjust their approach, or ask for help. In doing so, they learn persistence, problem-solving and emotional regulation — skills that matter far beyond the early years.
UK early years guidance recognises this. The Development Matters framework, which supports the Early Years Foundation Stage, emphasises learning through exploration, trial and error, and supportive adult responses rather than pressure to succeed first time. Children are not expected to master things immediately; instead, they are encouraged to experiment, notice what happens and build understanding gradually.
Failure also plays an important role in social learning. A child might say something that upsets a friend or struggle to negotiate a shared activity. Such experiences give children feedback about how their actions affect others. With sensitive adult support, they begin to reflect, repair and try again. Over time, this is how empathy and self-awareness develop.
Grown ups getting it “wrong”
The same principles apply to adults. Parents often experience moments where something they tried at home didn’t work as expected — a routine that falls apart, a strategy that works one day and not the next. Nursery staff, too, are constantly reflecting on practice: trying new approaches, adapting routines, and learning from what hasn’t gone quite right. In a healthy nursery culture, these moments aren’t hidden or judged; they’re treated as information that helps everyone improve and in fact they are built-in to our supervision and appraisal framework.
Educational research in the UK supports this approach. Studies around metacognition and self-regulation show that learning deepens when people are encouraged to reflect on what didn’t work and make thoughtful adjustments, rather than avoiding mistakes altogether. This applies just as much to young children as it does to adults.
This idea doesn’t stop in childhood. Many people who go on to achieve success later in life describe learning through repeated attempts rather than instant results. The inventor and entrepreneur, James Dyson, for example, famously created thousands of prototypes before finding a vacuum cleaner design that worked. Each failure gave him feedback about what to change next. The lesson is the same for children and adults alike: mistakes are not an endpoint — they are part of the process.
When adults model a calm, thoughtful response to mistakes, children learn that failure isn’t something to fear. They see that it’s possible to pause, reflect and try again without blame or shame. This creates an environment where curiosity feels safe and effort is valued more than perfection.
Building resilience
Encouraging a positive relationship with failure doesn’t mean lowering expectations. It means recognising that learning is rarely a straight line. Children — and adults — need space to experiment and to understand that mistakes are a normal, valuable part of growth. Over time, this builds resilience, confidence and a willingness to engage with challenge.
At Blue Windmill Day Nursery, we aim to create a culture where mistakes are treated as opportunities to learn. By supporting children, families and staff to reflect and try again, we help everyone develop the confidence to approach new experiences with openness rather than fear. These foundations support not just early learning, but lifelong growth.